“In the first 30 years of your life, you make your habits. For the last 30 years of your life, your habits make you” - old Hindu saying
I’ve read way too many self-help books over the years. Out of the dozens or so on my bookshelf, if someone asked me to recommend just one, it would be a tie between two titles:
I see “HTWFAIP” as the magna opus of the self-help genre, and I am certainly not the only one who thinks highly of Dale Carnegie’s work. Famously, the only certificate you’ll find in Warren Buffet’s office is from a course taught by Carnegie. But I am not here to sing praises for HTWFAIP. The fact that “Atomic Habits” is also in the discussion should be an indicator of how good the book is.
In short, this is one of the most practical self-help book ever written. It is relevant for whatever it is you are trying to achieve, whether it’s to run a marathon, read more books, or lose more weight. Our habits shape who we are, and who we will become. By understanding the science behind habit formation, and how best to build good habits and break bad ones, things like our goals and aspirations become the by-product rather than the focus.
James Clear has a short blog post on his website summarizing the entire book if you are interested. For my book journal, I will organize ideas and quotes into two major sections: key insights, and practical tips.
1.0 Small Habit. Big Difference
“Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement”
Similar to compound interest, habits make very little difference each day, yet the impact they deliver after many years can be enormous.
Unfortunately, the slow pace of transformation makes it easy to let bad habit slide, and good ones wither away. The reason why many new-year-resolutions fail is because people make a few small change, fail to see tangible impact, and stop. The key insight is that habits need to persist long enough to yield results!
2.0 Forget About Goals. Focus on Your System
You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.
Our culture places too much emphasis on goals and not enough on habits. Yet it should be precisely the opposite. Implicit in goal setting is the assumption that once you reach your goal, then you will be happy. This creates an “either-or” conflict in which you either succeed or fail.
Instead, James Clear believes we should have a “systems-first mentality”. Fall in love with the process rather than the product. You don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. Trust in the system (the habits you’ve created for yourself). The score will take care of itself!
Fix the input and the outputs will fix themselves
At the same time, James recommends occasional self-reflection to make sure you are meeting your long-term goals.
“Don’t lose sight of the bigger picture. You want to view the entire mountain range, not obsess over each peak and valley”
3.0 Habit Formation is Identity Formation
True behavior change is identity change.
The third and perhaps most important insight is that the process of building habits is actually the process of becoming yourself.
Behavior that is incongruent with the self will not last. If your identity is someone who loves junk food, your goal of eating healthier will not last until you fundamentally change who you are. By changing your habits, you change your identity and thus your life!
The goal is not to read a book, the goal is to become a reader
The goal is not to run a marathon, the goal is to become a runner
The goal is not to learn an instrument, the goal is to become a musician
Furthermore, identity itself becomes a powerful reinforcer. You run because you are a runner, you read because you are a reader. It feels good to be you! Each session in the gym becomes almost like an investment. Putting money in the piggy bank.
Incentives can start a habit; Identity sustains a habit.
First step is to recognize your current habits. Can you identify your good and bad habits?
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate” - Carl Jung
Our conventional cultural belief is that if you are overweight, if you smoke, if you are an addict, it is because you lack self-control/discipline. The way to improve is not to be a more disciplined person, but create disciplined environments.
“Disciplined” people are just better at structural their lives in a way that does not require heroic willpower and self-control
Decisive Moments - There are key moments during your day that shapes whether or not it will be a good productive day, or a bad one. You want to pay extra attention to these moments. It could mean the difference between starting your homework vs. binging TV shows on Netflix.
Each evening, there is a tiny moment - usually around 5:15PM - that shapes the rest of my night
For example, if you have trouble reading before bed each night, instead just read one page.
“It is better to do less than you hoped than nothing at all”
Never Miss Twice - Life will inevitable get in the way. Perfection is not possible. In those situations, just remember: “Never miss twice”
Professionals stick to schedules; amateurs let life get in the way
In the chapter about the benefits of finding an accountability partner, James Clear tells a dark but hilarious story from the Cold War Era.
Strategies were proposed by many thinkers to prevent nuclear wars. One idea was to put the nuclear launch code inside a little capsule, and then implant it into the heart of a volunteer. The only way the president could launch a nuclear attack, and in consequence kill millions of people, is to first kill one human being, the volunteer, with his own hands.
The idea was met with fierce resistance because:
“My God, that’s terrible. Having to kill someone would distort the President’s judgement. He might never push the button”